People have gotten shockingly clever with stomach tattoos. But sometimes they get one that makes their belly button look like an anus. That’s arguably not as clever.
Every once in a while I’ll spot one thing on the Internet so amazing it inspired an entire list to be built around it. The 11th entry on this list is that thing.
As I’ve said on previous tattoo lists (Simpsons tattoos, South Park tattoos, horrible NBA tattoos) I could never be a tattoo person myself — but I can’t stop looking at them. Kind of like penguins at the zoo?
Here are 11 of the best stomach tattoos I found in my stomach tattoo adventure around the Internet. The home of so, so many stomach tattoos.
1 | The Subway tattoo
This is pretty clever but would be SO much better if the Subway tattoo on this list was Jared holding up his giant pants.
2 | The old school WWF championship
This guy made the right choice in going for this WWF belt — it’s so iconic, so epic. Brings back a rush of memories just seeing it tattooed on this guy’s championship belt-shaped belly. Somewhere, Bob Backlund, Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior, and the Iraqi sympathizing side of Sgt. Slaughter are smiling.
Also, un-shockingly, turns out this guy is a Star Wars fan. Which means he might like this next tattoo also…
3 | Using Star Wars to organically mask a C-section scar? Brilliant
If I were in a headline writing class in journalism school, I would’ve gone with: Death Star Meets Life Scar. I miss writing headlines like that. Is the New York Post hiring?
4 | The old six pack
I felt contractually obligated to include one of these because so, so, so, so many guys with beer bellies seem to have six packs of beer fauxronically tattooed on their guts. I picked this specific picture because I liked that this guy was holding a Coors Light bottle when it was taken. Way to betray your underlying concept, pal.
5 | The Konami code
Four things came to mind when I saw this photo. One: I can’t believe a girl got the Konami code tattooed. Two: Bravo on not erroneously including “Select” before “Start” like so many people do. Three: Are there even any Game Boy games that use the Konami code?* And four: Is her belly button in the shape of a question mark because it’s wondering that exact same thing?
6 | How did I miss this one on my Simpsons tattoos list?
If only this guy hadn’t put all those other tattoos around the Post-It note and just left it as-is. How many times do I have to tell people: Keep your obscure Simpsons tattoos minimalist. It’s what the Happy Sailor would want.
7 | Monkey play
There are a surprising number of people who’ve chosen to permanently mark their stomachs with tattoos that turn their belly buttons into anuses. And the anuses are always jarringly realistic. I picked this monkey anus tattoo because it was really the least objectionable one I could find.
8 | Living the hug life
If 2pac were still around (and not hiding in plain sight somewhere in the Caribbean) I think he’d like this tattoo.
9 | Great for impromptu bank robberies…
…really bad during airport security searches.
10 | Balloon Boy? Really?
I can’t guarantee this is real. It looks the fakest of all the ones on this list. But if this woman really did decide to get the Balloon Boy tattooed on her stomach, she’s a very, very strange individual. Also, I’d hate to see whether she’s got a tattoo of the Chilean miners being rescued up onto her lower back.
11 | The tattoo that inspired this list
If everyone got tattoos this brilliant, there would be no need for tattoo removal. Because this is radical, dude.
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* – Upon checking, yes, there are a couple of Game Boy games that use the Konami code.
