Eventually, math goes wrong — and someone’s always there to take a photo.
I was at the grocery store last night buying the only two things I regularly run out of (ketchup and Diet Coke) and they were offering a sale on Heinz Ketchup that amounted to 22 cents off if you bought two. Climb the ladder, Monty.
When I got home, it sparked a mission to find evidence of much, much worse deals floating around the Internet — and, as expected, there were tons of options to choose from. Here are 11 of my favorite photos of stores offering laughably horrible discounts.
1 | As advertised!
A discount of one whole penny! How could anyone offer a worse deal than that?…
2 | 0% off
Here’s how someone could offer a worse deal than that. Certainly no one could offer a worse deal still, right?…
3 | Negative fun
And here’s how you offer an even worse deal than that.
4 | 25 percent roach discount
I know their bill was $484 and you can’t give them the entire meal for free… but “insect on the food” has to be worth more than 25 percent off, right? That’s a “hair in my soup” discount, maybe a “waiter called my mom ‘sir'” discount — but far too stingy for an insect discount.
5 | Planet Fitness discount
Some people might fall for the long term non-discount if the monthly rate was anything but $10. This sign just shows Planet Fitness is targeting the “can’t even multiple something by 10” crowd — in other words, get ready to be on an elliptical next to a frequent poster on Yahoo Answers.
6 | You Save $12
And suddenly, it becomes clear why Circuit City couldn’t make the numbers work to stay afloat.
7 | Lobster, in various states
I feel like this deserves more than a $3 discount — after all, who wants to drop a dead lobster in a pot of boiling water? The flavor comes from the torture.
8 | Why pay $10 for a BBQ chicken?
I love this one because it’s so confrontational in its pro-discount mentality… then knocks off 12 cents. This is the person who posts political rants in website comments on a daily basis but ultimately doesn’t go vote on voting day because they got too wrapped up in a Bar Rescue marathon.
9 | Orange juice on sale
I would say they’re offering a discount for people who speak Spanish, but really, they’re just offering a discount for people who can recognize identical photos. So if you’ve ever played Photo Hunt, you’re saving $1 here.
10 | Out-of-date medicine
It’s not just out-of-date medicine — it’s out-of-date contraception, which might be worse. I love that the Today sponge is so prominently displayed. If Seinfeld is to be believed, those really ARE out-of-date — they went off the market in like 1995.
11 | Quality price matching
Sure, WE think this sign is stupid, but if even one customer ever takes them up on this offer, it’s a big win.