I answer emails about two random 11 Points readers coincidentally meeting, my favorite Simpsons everything and my thoughts on a Taylor Swift/T-Pain collaboration.
Last week first ever Inbox-O-Rama was a much bigger success than I expected… I thought my traffic would dip but, instead, the list had a tremendous day. Which means: I’m happy to report that Inbox-O-Rama is here to stay!
I’m also happy that everyone’s really stepped up and sent in some great stuff for this week’s. It was really tough narrowing it down to just 11. Makes me very optimistic!
In case you missed the first one, anyone whose e-mail or photo submission I put in an Inbox-O-Rama list will get a brand new 11 Points sticker. (Pending three things: (1) The person is patient, because the stickers are still being printed (2) The person emails me their address and (3) The person lives in the U.S. because, until I get an intern, I don’t want to have to figure out international postage.)
Without further ado, here are my responses to 11 reader e-mails, comments, Tweets and Facebook messages.
1 | 11 rapid-fire Simpsons questions
Liz writes (and all British spellings are [SIC], by the way)…
You’re one of the few people [besides myself] that can still quote Simpsons episodes, and remembers the ‘Golden Age’ fondly … so, taking that, and your love for all things 11, here are 11 questions for you regarding Homer J. and the gang.
1. Favourite Family Member?
Homer, obviously, is my favorite family member.
2. Favourite Destination? [e.g.. Japan, Brazil, etc]
I think the Bart versus Australia episode is the best foreign trip they took. I also really like when Bart and Homer go to Thomas Edison’s house in New Jersey and I love the New York episode.
3. Favourite Guest Star?
As I said in my list of the 11 Best One-Off Simpson Characters, Rodney Dangerfield’s Larry Burns is, without question, my all-time favorite one-episode character.
4. Favourite Returning Guest Star?
My favorite recurring guest star remains the late Phil Hartman. Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure are two of my favorite characters. “Well, [the judge has] kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace ‘accidentally’ with ‘repeatedly,’ and replace ‘dog’ with ‘son.'”
5. Favourite Supporting Character?
My friend Steve and I debate this endlessly. My short list of favorite supporting characters are: Mr. Burns, Moe, Duffman, Disco Stu, Lenny & Carl, and the Rich Texan. With Apu, Skinner, Superintendent Chalmers and the guy who says Yeeeeeeeeeeees all trailing close behind. My least favorite recurring characters are Kirk Van Houten, Martin and, in last place, Barney.
6. Favourite pet?
I never really like the pet-centric episodes. I did like Stampy, though, so I guess he wins by default. Where’s my elephant?
7. Favourite Treehouse of Horror?
Easy call on my favorite Treehouse of Horror. It’s “Treehouse of Horror V”, which has the Shinning, Homer traveling through time and changing the present, and the cafeteria serving school children. In all three of the episodes, Willie ends up with an ax in his back which is an amazing thru-thread… plus I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “No TV and no beer make Sam something something.”
8. Favourite three-part episode that isn’t Treehouse of Horror?
I’m not sure what “three-part episode that isn’t Treehouse of Horror” means — I don’t think they’ve ever done any three-episode arcs. But in terms of running themes, I like many, many of the Sideshow Bob episodes, and I really like their trend of taking three stories (Bible, revenge, etc.) and retelling them with Simpsons characters.
9. Favourite catchphrase?
I don’t know how this became a catchphrase in my life, but whenever someone mentions my new glasses I always say “I probably miss my old glasses.”
10. Favourite of Homer’s occupations?
Love the Beer Baron, monorail conductor, Poochie, fake Krusty, his tenure at the Globex Corporation, mayor’s bodyguard, trucker and, for some reason, Pie Man.
11. Favourite episode?
I could never pick one favorite episode. Episodes that I absolutely love that spring to mind: The monorail episode, prohibition, Gabbo, power plant strike, Selma married Troy McClure, softball team, Homer becomes Mayor Quimby’s bodyguard, Poochie and the bowling team. In terms of gimmicky episodes, I love 22 Short Films About Springfield, Behind the Laughter, Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase, and the recent Never Ending Story inside a story inside a story.
2 | An international late-career change
[In response to 11 Weirdest Late-Career Team Changes in Sports], if we are talking international sports, legendary Brazillian soccer player Rivaldo electing to end his career in Uzbekistan is utterly weird.
Sam responds: I wrote that list a year ago when it looked like Brett Favre was going to go to the New York Jets, and I thought it would be too weird to see him in a non-Green Bay jersey. Of course, since then, he’s played for the Jets, retired, then un-retired to play for the Vikings.
Which looks even weirder.
As for Tom’s comment, I wasn’t really talking about international sports because, well, I’ve never heard of Rivaldo. (I’ve only barely heard of this “Brazil” you speak of.)
But I went and tracked down these photos of Rivaldo in his Uzbekistani jersey. Hopefully it isn’t so weird that it burns your retinas!
3 | Ulterior motive?
I can’t help but wonder if you were hoping to receive some nude pics as a result of this article [11 Secrets For Taking Amazing Nude Photos]?
Sam responds: Well, Chris, so far, I have received zero nude photos as a result of it. The only thing I’ve gotten was an extraordinarily uncomfortable phone call with my parents where my mom told me how incredible insightful and potentially useful all of my tips were. If someone could Men In Black ray that conversation from my mind, I’d be deeply indebted.
4 | Another great T9 correction
I’m submitting an Inbox-o-Rama about an Inbox-o-Rama article… how meta.
Regarding favorite T9 changes [in the first item of last week’s Inbox-O-Rama]… “I want to lick your pussy” comes out as “I want to kick your puppy”.
Sam responds: That wins the award for best T9 switch that anyone sent me.
Another good one came from a reader named Barbs, who noted that “plate” comes out as “slave”… so one time she texted some Zimbabwean friends “Do I need to bring a slave to the party?”
5 | Another weird rapper/non-rapper collaboration
[On your list of 11 Weirdest Collaborations Between Rappers and Non-Rappers Ever], what about Taylor Swift and T-Pain? That made me rofl.
Sam responds: Somehow I’d never heard the results of this collaboration…
But you’re absolutely right, Jen… even though they’re doing it tongue-and-cheek, that awkward duet is still up there with the LL Cool J and Elmo duet. (Or Phil Collins and Bone Thugs.)
6 | Two-page lists?
Is this two page lists thing here to stay? Because I’m not a fan. If this continues I might stop visiting your page twice a day.
Sam responds: A number of people have commented on me switching up my formatting and splitting the lists onto two pages instead of one page. So I’d like to clear it up…
The main reason I did it was for readability. The number one complaint I’ve gotten over the history of my site is that the lists are too long. I’ve heard from a lot of people that they read the first two or three points, then scroll down a little, see how long the list is, and just skim through looking for the photos and highlighted text.
By breaking it into two pages, I’m hoping the lists won’t look like such giant bricks of content, which will make them more conducive to online reading. After all, the point of lists is that they’re broken up and organized and easy to read… so I don’t want to fight that.
I am going to put a “single page” option up as soon as I can build it. But please, bear with me — as the site keeps growing like it has, I’m going to have to make little adjustments to handle it. I’ll try never to screw things up too badly. And it’s all for the greater good, I promise.
7 | Graph humor!
Tina (@tinanotaro) in New Jersey, writes…
I thought of this simple chart I made when reading your recent [text message] punctuation post.
Sam responds: Is there anything better than graph-based humor?
8 | 11 random questions
1) I don’t get why people hate Jews.
I don’t get why people hate Jews either! I mean, we’re vastly overrepresented most high-profile careers (other than playing sports), which might lead to some resentment. Generally, the people who have a problem with Jews are the people who’ve never met a single Jew, just know the antiquated stereotypes… and want to blame someone other than themselves for the reason life didn’t quite turn out how they wanted. Not that I can judge. Those are specifically the reasons I resent Laotians.
2) Why is I-Am-Bored not on your “friend list” anymore?!
I took I-Am-Bored off my friends list when I finally submitted my 100th link to them and had it rejected. Which means I have been rejected on 100 out of 100 links I’ve submitted to them. (And I’m not just talking about links to 11 Points or Break videos… literally everything I submit gets rejected, to a comical degree.) Which means they do not like me, so, therefore, they are not my friend.
3) I’m 15 and even I blow into game cartridge & usb connecters in attempt to fix them.
It warms my heart that the younger generation still respects the traditions of old Nintendo. It’s the best sign we have for the future of humanity.
4) Rats are Winston’s greatest fear.
Did you just read 1984 in English class? Adorable! (But seriously, 1984 is one of the greatest books of all time, and contains some of the most accurate dystopian predictions ever put down on paper… predictions that become truer and truer by the day.)
5) Speaking of Wendy’s Asian Chicken.. what’s up with their motto? “It’s waaaay better than fast food!” … But it IS fast food.
Wendy’s saying “It’s waaaay better than fast food!” is the same as HBO saying “It’s not TV, it’s HBO.” Both of those slogan-based attempts to distance themselves from the masses would be better if (1) Wendy’s wasn’t clearly fast food and (2) Entourage hadn’t become unbearably cringe-inducing just like every other mainstream TV show.
6) I love the Beatles.
7) Your name almost rhymes. Almost.
My name rhymes better than any of the rhymes I talked about here.
8) I return to your Best Chipotle Ingredients list occasionally. It makes me hungry for Chipotle, jealous that you have it, and sad that there is no Chipotle within 200 miles of my house.
It’s always surprised me that Chipotle hasn’t become ubiquitous. Back around 2000, when I ate both Chipotle and Quiznos for the first time, I never would’ve guessed that, a decade later, there’d be a Quiznos on every corner and Chipotles would still be few and far between.
9) Can I have a sticker?
Since you made the Inbox-O-Rama, yes, you can have a sticker.
10) Do you read Harry Potter? If you do, you definitely need to do some sort of 11 Points on it.
I have read all of the Harry Potter books. I’ve been trying to come up with a good list about them for a while… I’m definitely open to suggestions. My current best contender for an idea is “11 Pairs of People in the Harry Potter Books Who Definitely Had Sex”. What do you think?
11) I tell religious people I’m agnostic when I’m secretly atheist so they won’t hate me.
The mere fact that religious people would hate you for anything regarding your personal belief system is a sign that they’re doing it wrong.
12) What is a benihana chef?
I wish I could answer your last question, but I only go up to 11.
9 | 11 Points random meet-up in Baltimore
Lindsay in Baltimore, Maryland, writes…
I live in Baltimore, but was in D.C. for a bar crawl. Somewhere around bar #5, I got into an argument with a guy about She-Ra. Yes, it’s an odd thing to argue about, but he swore she was a Thunder Cat. Ridiculous.
The first thing I though of to prove my point was your 11 points list about He-Man, so I made him look up your website on his iPhone. Turns out, he is Chris who corrected you about the Merchant Marines in your 6 month follow up post!
Just thought you might be interested to hear that you have a following on the East Coast!
Sam responds: Before I get into how this e-mail warmed my icy heart (with a hot island song), I have to mention how much it resembles that Seinfeld episode where a character awesomely named Todd Gak would make ridiculous pop culture bets with women (like betting Dustin Hoffman was in Star Wars or that the “M” in Richard M. Nixon stood for Moe) and then, when he’d inevitably lose the bet, he’d pay up by taking them to dinner… thereby tricking them into a date. Because betting that She-Ra was a Thundercat just smacks of that ploy. Not that I’d ever accuse my Merchant Marine homey Chris of doing that.
Now, as for this e-mail… I never, ever expected people would find common ground over 11 Points. This is definitely one of the best e-mails I’ve ever received about the site.
The worst e-mail was just someone who took the word “kike” and copied and pasted it about 50,000 times into an e-mail. And somehow that got past my spam filter. My spam filter is the worst. I wake up every morning with 150 e-mails on my Blackberry, 147 of which are spam. And one of which always seems to have the subject line “Why do you hate gingers?”
10 | Defending New Kids on the Block
[In response to an assertion I made in the list 11 ’80s Fads I Totally Bought Into] HEY! hangin tough and the right stuff do NOT sound “nearly identical”!!!! and everyone always makes such fun of hangin tough but does anyone remember why they even made the song to begin with? their hometown boston basketball team was supposed to use the song-it was written for the team-but nooooooooo no one ever remembers that and they just keep getting ragged on for it!!!!
Sam responds: First of all, I am always amazed at the passion of New Kids On The Block fans. To this day, they will still fight to the death for those guys. Even Danny, the fugly one.
Second of all, I’m sorry I said Hangin’ Tough and The Right Stuff sound identical. Hangin’ Tough goes “Ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh” and The Right Stuff goes “Oh oh oh oh oh.” Totally different.
11 | No mas
Eduardo (@rougeloup) in Mexico, apropos of… well, I’m not sure… sent me this photo of an erect male pinata…
Sam responds: Um… thanks?
Send me your e-mails, Tweets, Facebook messages and comments for next week’s Inbox-O-Rama!