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written by Sam Greenspan

Certain fanbases get under my skin more than others. But while this is a personal list, a lot of these feel pretty universal.

I was watching the Boston Celtics win the title last night, and it dawned on me: There’s nothing worse right now than Boston sports fans. That’s not the only city that pisses me off, but, right now, it’s head and shoulders above the rest.

So here’s a list in the spirit of brotherhood and peace… teams whose fans piss me off the most. But since this is all emotion, completely subjective and totally devoid of logic, I’m going to explain my hatred very succinctly.

1 | Boston Red Sox

Bandwagon. Pink and green t-shirts. Sense of entitlement. Self-centered. “The Curse” bullshit. ESPN’s Sports Guy. Believing they’re underdogs even with an $800 billion payroll.

2 | Chicago White Sox

Ignorant. Kings of obnoxiousness. Hawk. Believing April baseball is all that matters. Again, Hawk. Not accepting their World Series season was a fluke where 24 guys had career years. Hyberbolic.

3 | Boston Celtics

Greedy. Sense of entitlement. ESPN’s Sports Guy and his dad. Them now being able to argue with me that Paul Pierce is overrated. Thinking they’re the only good fans in the world. Loving white players too much. Bandwagon.

4 | New York Yankees

Self-centered. Joba-mania. Thinking other people care about Joba-mania. Loving Jeter. Obnoxious. Dismissive. Believing every free agent “belongs” to them or is dying to play there. Belief the Yanks/Sawks rivalry is the best in sports. Front-runners.

5 | New York Knicks

In spite of it all, still not comprehending that LeBron would possibly want to be in Cleveland over playing there.

6 | Purdue Boilermakers football

Dismissive. Overrated. Proud of the world’s largest drum. Love Drew Brees. Boring. Large.

7 | Toronto Blue Jays

Back in the day, they used to stream into Cleveland and forever made me believe that Canadians are rude, abrasive brutes. (I still stand by that now, a good 16 or so years later.)

8 | San Antonio Spurs

A guy I know who’s a Spurs fan said he would rather watch a preseason Spurs/T-Wolves game than a World Series game. The end.

9 | New England Patriots

Bandwagon to the extreme. ESPN’s Sports Guy. Buying 19-0 stuff before the Super Bowl. Sense of entitlement.

10 | Detroit Pistons

A few years ago, this would’ve been higher on the list because of DEEETROIT BASKETBALL. But now I just kinda feel sorry for them getting teased and ultimately disappointed every year by a group of fading sort-of stars.

11 | Oakland Raiders

Just kidding, I don’t want to die.