Even though he hit 88 miles-per-hour, his DeLorean stayed in the present.
This might be the best statement uttered in as a legal defense in the entire world this year.
55-year-old Nigel Mills from Chemlsford, Essex, England is the proud owner of a classic 1983 DeLorean which, of course, is the car made famous by Back to the Future. He bought it at an auction in 2004 for $29,000 and only takes it out a few times a year. And back on Sunday, November 15th of last year — perhaps inspired by Back to the Future Part II Day just a few weeks earlier — he decided to finally let it rip.
Around 11:00 A.M., he took his DeLorean onto an empty freeway and gunned it. All the way past 88 miles-per-hour — aka the speed at which DeLoreans time travel.
Unfortunately for him, he stayed in the present. Where a cop clocked him doing 89 and pulled him over for speeding.
Nigel decided to fight the charges and was in court on Wednesday. He said he didn’t think he was going that fast — especially not the specifically relevant speed of 88 miles-per-hour. Because, as he perfectly explained, quote, “I can honestly say I wasn’t trying to time travel.”
I mean… of course he wasn’t. I assume he was powering his car with gas, not plutonium. How many jigawatts could he have been pulling? 0.2, max, right?
He also argued that the road was empty, that he was targeted unfairly even though he’s a law-abiding citizen, and he thinks the cops should have better things to do than go after people channeling their inner Marty McFly.
Of course, none of those is an actual viable defense and, if anything, they’re mostly overly entitled statements that are less likely to engender leniency. Fortunately for him, there was one real aspect of his defense: The cops somehow didn’t have any evidence of his speed, so the judge threw out the case.
But wow is this guy going to get investigated hard if he ever wins a sports bet.
Sources: The Telegraph / Essex Live / Gray’s Sports Almanac
