In a show that set a new bar for the word unbelievable, some things still managed to stand out.
A few months back, for reasons I can no longer remember, I decided to watch Sons of Anarchy in its entirety. I’ve never ridden a motorcycle, been in a gang or willingly ventured into central California, so I’m not sure why it appealed to me. It also violated my usual rule against binge watching a show with more than five seasons of hour-plus episodes. But there I was, watching away. And once I got started, I got hooked enough to finish.
The show is, undeniably, over the top. It’s so far over the top that it circles the entire planet and comes back around to the bottom. The stuff these characters go through in seven seasons (covering about four or five-ish years) is more than all the real motorcycle clubs in the world have gone through in their entire histories combined.
But some unbelievable aspects rose above the rest. Here are my 11 least believable moments in Sons of Anarchy. WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND
11 | Courtney Love as a demure, responsible preschool teacher
Why did they stunt cast Courtney Love if she wasn’t actually going to do anything crazy? (Or even interesting?) On that note, I also had a lot of trouble believing Marilyn Manson as a white supremacist gang leader, Michael from Lost as an underworld kingpin who never once screamed “WALT!,” and especially Carmelo Anthony as a hired goon.
10 | Guys would join a motorcycle club to hang out with their fathers
Opie and Jax never looked at each other as teenagers and said, “Do we really want to spend our days hanging out with our dads and all their old man friends?” And the older guys never looked around and said, “Do we really want to spend our days hanging out with a bunch of punk kids?”
9 | Tara was smart enough to get through medical school
I’m not sure if I’d buy her being able to be disciplined, emotionally stable and intelligent enough to get through middle school. Her master plan to escape Charming was the worst idea anyone had over the entire run of the show, and that’s saying something.
8 | Jax’s entire goal for the series was to move the club into more legitimate enterprises…
Prostitution.
7 | Jimmy Smits was never killed off
It’s screenwriting 101 to kill off the main character’s trusted mentor. I have no idea how he managed to dodge the season seven “let’s kill everybody” spree.
6 | Two people could be responsible for 130+ deaths but virtually no one would ever call them on it
I read through the SOA wikia page on every death in the show, and unless I’m mistaken, every single one is a direct result of Clay and/or Gemma telling a lie. The only time that’s a little hazy is the second season of the show, when the white supremacists came to town, and the Sons of Anarchy were actually the clear good guys (no shades of gray, no moral ambiguity) and Gemma was a sympathetic victim for almost the entire season. (That’s also the season that had the fewest kills by far, not coincidentally.)
5 | Jax as a Jesus figure
When Jax finally kills himself, he does so with his arms spread out wide — while crows on the side of the road eat bread soaked in wine. By that point in the series, Jax had personally murdered 44 people and ordered the deaths of another 40 or so. He’s closer to being a serial killer than he is to being Jesus.
4 | A little eight-person motorcycle club could take on a giant Mexican cartel and win
The fact that Danny Trejo was a secret fed helped them out, but still.