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written by Sam Greenspan

Some newspaper mistakes are more egregious than others.

I make mistakes on this website. I know this because people often point them out to me. And I am fine with that, because my deep-rooted journalism training won’t let me happily adopt the “publish first, ask questions (and spell check) later” Internet media credo. And on the Internet, fixing a mistake is as easy as hitting the “re-publish” button.

This is not the case for the old school newspaper world. When they make a mistake, it lives eternally in printed infamy. And, once they realize they’ve made a mistake, they print a correction. Which also lives in infamy.

Today’s 11 Points is dedicated to those corrections. Since everyone seems to believe that all news is about to become electronic, these corrections may be glorious representations of an endangered species. One that I, personally, will miss when it’s gone. Way more than I’d ever miss spotted owls.

1 | If you can acrobatically do one, you can probably acrobatically do the other

And, frankly, the way they originally printed this makes more sense when describing life as an actress.

2 | Hopefully no one tried this at home

It’s good to print a correction when a typo in a world-renown advice column could be responsible for many, many deaths.

3 | That’s one way to make your salsa thicker

Especially if you’re used to eating that watery salsa made in… New York City?!?

4 | Diane’s mistaken crime

Well, in the newspaper’s defense, driving in front of a train isn’t THAT different than pulling a train.

5 | If you are the correctors, who will correct the correctors?

My favorite of these three non-correct corrections is the one about the marital status. What an emotional roller coaster for all of the women who’ve frantically checked the newspaper every day to find out if an ex-con named Newt was, in fact, available.

6 | These crimes are pretty much on the same level

I mean, what kind of an awful human being would steal groceries?

7 | A million errors

This is really long but, basically, they correct at least six major errors from a story the Las Vegas Sun ran the previous Tuesday. It probably would’ve been easier to just publish, “The person who wrote ‘Shooting Rattles Affluent Suburb’ has been fired.”

8 | How appropriate

Apparently, the “Washington Post” copy editor isn’t a 13-year-old Indian kid from South Carolina with a surprisingly thick mustache.

9 | The New York Times makes right

The Times published this correction… for a 49-year-old editorial… on July 17th, 1969. Very clever.

10 | Typical Whitey

This one gets more racist every time I read it.

11 | I mean… if you can’t get this spelling right, what chance does your paper have?

There’s no coming back from this.

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