Let’s go to the Internet’s home of fools for ideas on fooling.
I don’t really like April Fool’s Day (never been a big prank guy, for whatever reason). But I felt like doing something topical for it this year… and who better to consult then my beloved Yahoo Answers.
For those unfamiliar, Yahoo Answers is, quite simply, the one place you need to go on the Internet that proves society has fallen apart. The dumbest people in the world ask the dumbest questions in the world, then get the dumbest possible advice and answers to those questions from the other dumbest people in the world.
And, more importantly, it’s impossible to look away.
I’ve done two previous Yahoo Answers 11points lists, 11 Stupid Questions From Yahoo Answers That Have Changed My Life and 11 Torn ACL Questions From the Geniuses at Yahoo Answers. And I love them, and, based on the readership numbers, you love them… so let’s do it.
Here are 11 prank questions, suggestions, ideas, recommendations and stories from the world’s greatest convergence point of ignorance. And, as always, all spelling, grammar, punctuation and capitalization errors will be untouched.
1 | Really funny prank I wanna try out?
OK. Let’s see what this Yahoo Answers user, “pikachikablue”, is just dying to do…
It’s called big stranger rodeo, you hide and stalk a strager then you jump on their backs like it’s a frikin rodeo. Everyone thinks it’s illegal, how is it illegal if your not hurting anyone, just jump on their backs and then hang on for as long as possible.
Well, at least he doesn’t want to try a rodeo clown prank.
The answer he gets from a user named “Avie” is VERY reasonable, especially by Yahoo Answers standards…
The “big stranger rodeo” is illegal for two main reasons: 1) it’s battery, 2) it has the potential to hurt someone. Anytime you touch someone in a way they deem offensive or force a person to have contact with you, it’s battery.
To be perfectly honest, you don’t know the medical history of a stranger. You might be jumping on the back of a first trimester pregnant woman, someone with arthritis or sciatica, a person with a mental disability or an abuse/rape survivor. You just don’t know! You could end up hurting or killing someone with this puerile prank or you could end up hurt or killed.
Unfortunately for Avie, I will now re-translate her response as pikachikablue most likely read it…
Blah blah blah blah: 1.) Blah blah blah blah, 2.) blah blah blah blah. Blah blah touch someone blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah.
Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah big word pregnant, blah blah big word really big word, blah blah retard blah blah rape blah. Blah blah! Blah blah blah big word blah blah.
And that’s why someone is probably getting big stranger rodeoed today.
2 | What prank is better than TPing a house?
I don’t love the question, the guy just asks for a prank to do. I love the advice he gets from Yahoo Answers user “Ross S”, who comes up with my personal pick for most creative prank on Yahoo Answers…
set up a cock fight, and call the cops and tell them that they are doing that, so then they get arrested.
That’s brilliant. All you need are some fighting cocks, a cockfighting pit, 50 or so Latino extras to serve as spectators AND to not be living in Louisiana, and this prank is pure gold.
Ya know, on second thought, might just be easier to go with the toilet paper.
3 | Everyone saw my Penis at class?
First of all, nice capitalization choice on “Penis”… such a small detail says so, so much. Second of all, let’s see what “Carter JR” has to say…
i was in english class when one of my friends pulled a prank on me and pulled my pants and underwear down and a bunch of girls were starting at it. For some reason i was erect when he did it. What should i do?
Well, first of all, stop getting so turned on in English class. Just because there’s a picture of Maya Angelou on the wall doesn’t mean you have to fantasize about making her caged bird sing.
And, um, second of all… go pray, donate and sacrifice a goat to your deity of choice because he just hooked you up. All those girls saw your penis (or, Penis, if you will) at full size. Not in its shrunken, minimized storage state. And they’re young, so, hopefully, they haven’t seen many penises before and now think yours is gigantic. You need to ride this as far as it can take you.
That, or convince everyone that the guy who pantsed you did it because he’s gay. That’s the more traditional high school approach, passed on from generation to generation to generation.
4 | Fungi infection on penis?
How is this related to my pranks theme? Read on. Yahoo Answers user “5yewy5r” posed this problem to the community…
Help! I just noticed today when I pulled back my foreskin for no apparent reason(Just kinda fiddling with it, y’know?), I saw these green spots. When I pulled them back further, I saw more green spots. They don’t look like a rash or something, since they are GREEN. To be more precise, it’s like a light greenish kind of color, not straight out green.
I have *NO IDEA* when I got them, and I’m afraid it could be something serious(Hey! Ask anyone, you’ll be freaked out when you see some weird stuff on your penis)…
Any ideas on what to do? I prefer not to visit the doctor, since I feel kinda shameful about it….Although if it has even a slight chance of being something serious, I won’t hesitate.
P.S. It’s not a STD. I’m a virgin.
I’d like to thank helpful Yahoo Answers user “bigboyscottb” for making this relevant for our purposes here today. See, he had an answer for 5yewy5r…
You really need some Professional help. Yahoo answers isn’t the place to really talk about it. And who knows maby some one might of sneaked into your room last night with a green sharpie and pulled a prank on you. But who cares my theorie is not really truthful! ^_^
Yep. Don’t you hate it when your roommate sneaks into your room in the middle of the night, pulls down your foreskin and draws light green dots all over your penis?
I just can’t believe bigboyscottb had the self-awareness to note that Yahoo Answers isn’t the place to go when the head of your penis has molded over… and inadvertently proved that point words later by proffering his prank “theorie”… a theorie so bad that it should even make Yahoo Answers users go, “Wow, guy… really???”
5 | Numbers to prank call?
I learned a valuable lesson from this one. Your modern-day idiot isn’t just an idiot… he or she is also lazier than you could ever imagine. Take this question from Yahoo Answers user “just a regular teen :)”…
any number to prank call like burger king or khols??
if ur gunna tell me a number tell me what it is like
(1888835272-mcd’s) or yeah lol
She’s SO lazy that she doesn’t even want to bother looking up her own numbers to prank call… she’s calling on the Yahoo Answers army to do it for her! I mean, really.
I hate to get all soapboxy, but back in my day, when we wanted to prank call someone, we opened the phone book to a random page, picked a random name, and did it. Like serial killers. Today’s kids are too lazy to even be serial killers. How would this girl use Yahoo Answers if she wanted to start serial killing?
any people to murder like prostitutes or old people?? if ur gunna tell me a name tell me why they deserve it (jenny wilson-called me fat) or yeah lol
Now I’m all annoyed. Let’s move on.
6 | Will my friend get deported?
Uh oh, Yahoo Answers user “Ryan B”… sounds like you’re up to some serious scheming…
If I play a prank on my friend and report him to Immigration even though he’s a US citizen, will they actually deport him, or will they look into it first? I think it would be funny to get him sent to mexico.
While that WOULD be funny (?), the saddest part is: Government bureaucracy makes Yahoo Answers users look smart. Would you be willing to say with 100 percent certainty that the INS would look into the guy’s citizenship before deporting him? Because I wouldn’t.
7 | A prank I was playing on my little brother backfired.?
OK. This one’s a little long, but TOTALLY worth the read. So please give it a chance. It comes from Yahoo Answers user “Thomas”…
Recently, my little brother who is 18 years old announced to everyone he is gay. I’m 19 years old and think he is just going through a phase. I thought it would be funny to show him how disgusting some guys can be by getting a bunch of my friends to flash him.
I started by acting as a big brother by ‘supporting’ his decision. I gave him the screen name of one of my friends who agreed to join in the prank. I told my brother it was a guy in school who is also gay and was interested in getting to know my brother. I told my brother that the guy wanted to meet online via webcam first so things won’t be so awkward in the beginning. So, if my brother was interested the guy would be online that night at 8:00 PM and will talk with him if he wanted.
When 8:00 PM came my brother and my friend started chatting. I was at my friend’s house along with a bunch of other guys at school so we were able to hear the chatting. We were away from the webcam’s view so my brother didn’t see anyone else except the guy he was chatting with. Then, it was time for the prank. The guy who my brother was chatting with asked if my brother wanted to see some pictures of some of his friends.
At this point, my friends and I stood up next to each other shoulder to shoulder. We pulled down our pants and boxers, and pulled up our shirts over our heads to cover our faces. Then, my friend moved the webcam towards us to show my brother our bare chests and penises for a few minutes.
After a few minutes my friend moved the webcam away from us so he wouldn’t see who we were. We all started laughing because we thought we got my brother good. My friends and I covered ourselves again and wanted to enjoy my brother’s shocked and disgusted reaction. However, my brother wasn’t shocked or disgusted. In fact, when he continued to chat with my friend my brother said he “enjoyed” what he saw. He even said that he liked the “hot” body of the guy in the red shirt and was wondering if the guy in the red shirt was available.
I was the guy in the red shirt. Now, my 18 year old gay brother is “hot” for my body. Should I tell him that it was me he was “hot” for? Is this something I should just keep to myself and never tell him about it? I’m not sure what to do now. This prank was suppose to kick him out of this gay phase.
I have so much I want to say on this. But this one is so perfect, I’m just going to let it simmer on its own.
8 | Horrible prank gone wrong. Please help?
That’s a title that just screams of mystery and intrigue. And, it comes from Yahoo Answers user “Gigantic Scrotum”… so you know it’s credible…
My coworker Bill decided to play a cruel prank on me 5 hours ago. In order to get revenge for a promotion that I earned instead of him, he decided to slip 4 crushed viagra into my Samuel Adams Boston lager during our morning break. I have a massive erection that will not go away. During lunch I drove home and tried everything to get rid of it not limited to: Taking a cold shower, masturbating…twice, right now I am considering calling my wife home to help alleviate the problem. Should I just deal with the erection or stay home for the rest of the day?
Firstly, good for you, Gigantic Scrotum, for drinking Sam Adams on your morning coffee break. That’s some serious dedication to your alcoholism.
Secondly, good for you, Gigantic Scrotum, for posting this on Yahoo Answers after you were done taking a cold shower and masturbating twice (although not ostensibly in that order). That’s some serious dedication to your Yahoo Answers addiction.
And thirdly, good for you, Gigantic Scrotum, for finding a woman who’d marry you, despite your A.M.-at work drinking and your choice of the screen name Gigantic Scrotum.
Sure, you’ve got a permanent hard-on effing up your work day… but, beyond that, you have a pretty cool life.
9 | I hospitalized my friend with a prank, and he isnt speaking to me any more, what should i do?
Well this can only go well. Let’s see what “matt_da_killa_667” did to his friend…
Hello, me and my friend Louis have always been playing pranks on each other since we were kids (we are both 21). A lot of our pranks have crossed the boundaries in good taste several of times. When i was 13 he put a dildo that was covered in mud in my room and my mother found out and grounded me for a year. Once, I even left a voice mail on his gf’s phone saying I was his gay lover and that he has AIDS lol…
Well last week his 1 prank really pissed me off. He pranked called my work and told my boss that I’m a heavy opium user and that i should get a drug test. Well, the boss gives me a drug test and i fail for opium (showed up because i eat bagels with poppy seeds)., and i get suspended from work for 2 weeks and now i might get terminated. WELL i wanted to get him back in the worse way. We were hanging out and he got completely trashed off of shrooms and pot.
I thought, he is extremely ****** up, so this is the perfect opportunity. I got a blender and poured bleach, gasoline, anti freeze, power steering fluid and sour milk and blended it. I poured him a glass and told him to drink it and its the best alcoholic drink ever. He was so trashed that he chugged it and didn’t even ask what it was.
Well, a few minutes later he begins vomiting heavily, and it took me a few min to realize that i had to call for an ambulance and what i mixed could be lethal. He got rushed to the ER and had his stomach pumped and could’ve died. Ever since then he hasn’t talked to me, and even texted me saying “that was the most ****** up thing you ever did trying to kill me.” I feel so bad, but at the time i felt like he deserved it for costing me my job. What can i do to repair this friendship?
Easy. Prove to him that a bleach-gasoline-antifreeze-power steering fluid-sour milk smoothie ISN’T lethal and that he just had a strange reaction. How do you do that? Blend another one and give it to his dog. Or child.
10 | I got suspended from school for a stupid prank that NO ONE got hurt from?
OK, not really a question, per se, but I find myself intrigued. What do you have to say, Yahoo Answers user “Darby Crash”?
My friend has a fake leg but only a couple of us know it. We had a substitute today in math, so I took my compass and stabbed her in the leg with it where he could see. Obviously since it’s plastic, she couldn’t really feel anything, so we were just acting. She started screaming and freaking out like it hurt really bad. He started freaking out, so then we told him it was just a joke, etc. BUT, he had us suspended
over a joke!? Is he overreacting or is that something really worth getting suspended over??
Oh right, the old “stab your fake-legged friend in the leg” prank. We used to do it all the time back in my day. That’s why when Tom Brokaw writes a book about us it’s going to be called “The Stabbiest Generation”.
Do I think you should’ve been suspended? Probably. Schools aren’t very high on people stabbing each other, even in fake legs. If the students are going around stabbing each other’s fake legs all the time, how is the school going to find time to teach a curriculum designed specifically around making sure they can pass the state’s standardized tests?
11 | Is it unhealthy to look at suicide hotline prank calls right after you almost kill yourself?
Well this certainly seems to be an unusual scenario we have presented here. Let’s see what “Me E” had to say…
Is it unhealthy to look at suicide hotline prank calls right after you almost kill yourself? It made me laugh and saved me. No,I wasn’t making the prank phone calls I was watching them on youtube.
I’m wondering about the thought process here. Kid is depressed… almost commits suicide (somehow)… it fails… goes onto YouTube to look up more successful suicide techniques… search for suicide yields video of prank calls to the suicide hotline (like this one)… kid cheers up and decides life is worth living after all… kid puts a cherry on top of the day by posting the tale to Yahoo Answers.
When I have a kid, I’m pretty sure I’m going to set up spy software on our family computer to monitor Yahoo Answers, so I can find out if he’s suicidal. And also, so I can find out he’s been posting on Yahoo Answers, and sit him down for a three-hour lecture entitled “You’re better than that.”