Don’t stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to.
Don’t stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to.
1 | Makes you realize that any time you’re in a jam your mother will be by your side.
2 | Helps you understand prayer is not a cure-all — praying to keep out of trouble won’t inherently make it so — but rather just one square in the tapestry of self-actualization.
3 | Sparks your entrepreneurial spirit, driving you to go out and make money the best way you know how.
4 | You get to have sex so good your body can barely handle it.
5 | Spectacular advances in modern medicine have made the three letters “HIV” less of an immediate path to your final resting place.
6 | Your life becomes 10 shades of gray, just 40 away from all sorts of lite bondage adventures.
7 | Your faith can undo any chances you blow.
(Sure, that may contradict the whole “prayer is not a cure-all” thing from earlier, but what can ya do?)
8 | If chasing waterfalls makes you cry, just hope for a day when the skies are clear blue.
That will either dry your tears or give you someone to cry with — win-win!
9 | You can always “claim the insane” if you get into legal trouble.
It works like 55 percent of the time when someone tries it on SVU, so that’s pretty good.