• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content

11 Points

Because top 10 lists are for cowards.

  • Archive
  • Categories
  • Random
  • The Book
  • About
  • F
  • T
  • I
  • Show Search
Hide Search

Closing Time by Semisonic Is About Childbirth, Not Last Call at a Bar?

by Sam Greenspan
last updated March 21, 2018 · originally written April 23, 2015

The lead singer of Semisonic says he wrote the song as a metaphor for childbirth. A line-by-line examination into the lyrics must be done.

In 1998, a song called Closing Time came out as the debut single from a band called Semisonic. The song featured lyrics (ostensibly) about a lonely person’s experience during last call at a bar. It would be Semisonic’s only hit — but what a hit. Closing Time was immediately and permanently the go-to song for the end of the night at bars, weddings, bar mitzvahs, parties, quinceaneras and Semisonic concerts.

But here’s the thing. No one reazlied Semisonic had a little of that Robert Frost mojo in them.

It turns out the entire song was actually a metaphor for childbirth.

Semisonic’s lead singer, Dan Wilson, explained during a performance at his 25th reunion at Harvard…

Millions and millions of people bought the song and heard the song and didn’t get it. They think it’s about being bounced from a bar but it’s about being bounced from the womb.

So let’s go line-by-line through Closing Time and try to interpret it in its alternative context.

Closing time, open all the doors and let you out into the world

Doors = the vagina. We’re off to a smashing start.

Closing time, turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl

The “boy/girl” stuff makes more sense now. And I guess this line refers to hospital lights? Unless it’s a metaphor on top of a metaphor and is referring to the beginning of human consciousness or something.

Closing time, one last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer

Gee, wonder why people thought this was really about a bar? Is whisky and beer like one last quick suck of nutrients from the umbilical cord?

Closing time, you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.

So this is quite definitively the child being bounced from the womb.

I know who I want to take me home / I know who I want to take me home / I know who I want to take me home / Take me home

The baby wants his parents to take him home? This feels a little insecure, like Dan Wilson was worried his baby might’ve rejected him for one of the guys from Better Than Ezra.

Closing time, time for you to go out to the places you will be from

Logical. Makes more context in the childbirth sense than the bar sense actually.

Closing time, this room won’t be open till your brothers or your sisters come

Makes way more sense. The womb wasn’t available until the other siblings got out of there. Although I’m not sure that this line is really spectacular in the bar OR pregnancy contexts.

So gather up your jackets

Placenta?

Move it to the exits

There’s that vagina talk again.

I hope you have found a friend.

Makes sense for twins, perhaps? Otherwise I’m not sure this works in the macro picture.

Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

Sure thing, makes sense, pregnancy ends, life begins, lightning crashes.

And from here on, it’s just the chorus a few more times and a few repeated lines. Verdict: It really might be about childbirth, with a few serious red herrings thrown in.

Next week: Perhaps I can examine whether the Counting Crows’ Mr. Jones is secretly about the Nancy Kerrigan’s knee.

—

You may also like…

Sisqo Finally Clarifies the Unexpected Meaning of “Dumps Like a Truck”

The Lyrics to Backstreet Boys’ I Want It That Way Intentionally Don’t Make Sense?

11 Best Deep-Voiced Boyz II Men Monologues

11 Answers to Deep Questions About Ice Ice Baby

How Many Lines in Ain’t No Fun Make It Through the Radio Version Unedited?

Filed Under: Music Tagged With: 90s music, Hidden secrets, Lyrics, Musical investigation

About Sam Greenspan

Sam is a Midwest-born classically-trained journalist, now living and working in Los Angeles as a writer, author and entrepreneur. So basically, just a whole steaming jambalaya of stereotypes.

Archives

Full archive · Categories

Recent Posts

  • 11 Results for the Weirdest Super Bowl LV Prop Bets (All of Which I Actually Made)
  • 11 Weirdest Super Bowl LV Prop Bets (All of Which I Actually Made)
  • 11 Random Observations on the First-Ever Simpsons Episode
  • 11 Thoughts on the Debut of WCW Monday Nitro
  • 11 Facts About the Number 11

Copyright © 2008–2021

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Privacy Policy