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written by Sam Greenspan

I took state mottos and made even better state mottos out of their anagrams.

You know you’re a nerd when you decide to devote almost a full day of your life to making anagrams.

For this 11 Points, I went through the lists of U.S. state mottos and slogans and rearranged the letters to form new, and often more appropriate, mottos and slogans for the states.

These are my 11 favorite results. Set your phasers to fun…

1 | Arkansas

Original motto/slogan: Regnat Populus: The People Rule
Anagram motto/slogan: Eeep! Pull Up! Gun Store Plethora!

My original goal was to somehow wrangle “Walmart” out of one of their mottos or slogans but there’s not a single “w” in the lot. Still, I felt that the gun store angle was more than appropriate — especially with Walmart’s staunch pro-gun policy.

2 | New Jersey

Original motto/slogan: Liberty and Prosperity
Anagram motto/slogan: Italy Stripper? Bro, Deny.

As in: Your sister Rosangela is working at Johnny Tightlips’ club? Bro, don’t tell the boys dat.

3 | Arizona

Original motto/slogan: The Grand Canyon State
Anagram motto/slogan: A Changed Tyrant Onset

I needed something to capture the Big Brother movement in Arizona, and this one felt most poetic. Other options included “Tenant Changers Today”, “Tenant: A Changed Story” and “Tenant Charged. Stay? No.”

4 | California

Original motto/slogan: Find Yourself Here
Anagram motto/slogan: Hey, Funds Or Relief!

Trust me, that sums up the state now. Although, if it hadn’t included so many misspellings, I could’ve gone with “Hey, Reefr Fund Is Lo.”

5 | Ohio

Original motto/slogan: With God, all things are possible.
Anagram motto/slogan: While LeBron gags… hi, sadist plot!

Sums up the ulterior motive behind LeBron’s 2010 playoff choke-job nicely, I think.

6 | Indiana

Original motto/slogan: The Crossroads of America
Anagram motto/slogan: Hoosier Scorecard: Mas Fat

Indiana has an obesity rate of 29.9 percent, well within the second quartile of the country. (And, yes, I could really make an obesity reference to any state and be justified — what with America’s love of delicious food and all — but anagramming “hoosier” here was just too tempting to pass up.)

(Side note: I’m writing this list while in my hotel room at Comic-Con while a guy dressed as Balky from Perfect Strangers just walked by, and yet that previous sentence was possibly the nerdiest thing said or written in San Diego this entire weekend.) (Side, side note: It might’ve been Bronson Pinchot himself.)

7 | South Carolina

Original motto/slogan: While I breathe, I hope. Ready in soul and resource.
Anagram motto/slogan: Rah, Rebel. Wait… Hide… Hide… Silence. Our Year, Up Soon.

Frankly, I’m not convinced the state motto isn’t a coded message to the people to keep biding their time until the Northerners become less aggressive. My anagram is only a slightly more blatant way of saying it.

8 | Washington

Original motto/slogan: Experience Washington
Anagram motto/slogan: Rain Eschewing Net Expo

It could’ve become the tech mecca of the country if it wasn’t for the weather. (And another anagram for when you’re driving through the state and wondering whether to stay for the day or press on to Oregon or Idaho: “Change? None. Wipers. Exit.”)

9 | Michigan

Original motto/slogan: Say Yes to Michigan!
Anagram motto/slogan: Coney a hit! (I’m gassy.)

But those coneys really are delicious.

10 | Nevada

Original motto/slogan: All For Our Country
Anagram motto/slogan: Your Roll, For a C*nt

Play craps and possibly earn enough money to have sex. That’s pure Nevada. (As for my self-imposed censorship there, oh, I don’t know. I want to make sure that my site is still allowed by YOUR corporate firewall. And I have a feeling that dropping a bunch of c-u-next-Tuesdays is a path to ban-ville.) (Not to be confused with Bingville. I had a dream we beat them 14-3.)

11 | Wisconsin

Original motto/slogan: America’s Dairyland
Anagram motto/slogan: Aim: Lardy Radiances

And anyone who has visited the Cheese Chalet knows that Wisconsin has truly achieved that aim.

This just beat out my transformation of Massachusetts’s “The Spirit of America” into “Craftiest Hipie Roam”, Utah’s “Industry” into “Sin’r Duty”, and Idaho’s “Esto perpetua” into “O, Tater Peeps! U?”