Not every Garbage Pail Kids’ nickname existed in a vacuum.
When I was a kid, I was all about Garbage Pail Kids. I was susceptible to many ’80s fads (He-Man, neon colors, the California Raisins, Swatch watches, Nintendo, doing crack)… and Garbage Pail Kids were right up there.
Today I found myself deeply lost in an incredible Garbage Pail Kids website (that’s hosted on Geocities… quite possibly making it the last useful remaining Geocities website in the world)… and I knew I needed to make a GPK 11 Points list.
As I went through the old cards, I realized that there are plenty of Garbage Pail Kids that, coincidentally, have the same names as real people (or, at least, real movie characters). So I decided on a photo essay list, comparing the real person and the corresponding Garbage Pail Kid side-by-side.
1 | Hairy Carrie
2 | Mean Gene
“Let me tell you something, Mean Gene!”
3 | Large Marge
Tell ’em Large Marge sent ya!
4 | Al Catraz
Obscure references from recent and contrived episodes of The Simpsons are always going to be a part of this website.
5 | Barb Wire
Never seen this movie, actually. Seems pointless.
6 | Ned Head
“Phil? Phil Connors? … Hey now, don’t you tell me you don’t remember me ’cause I sure as heckfire remember you… ‘Needlenose Ned’? ‘Ned the Head’?”
7 | Rappin’ Ron
He was a sort-of underground rapper. Consult your local library for more information.
8 | John John
9 | Ultraviolet
Never saw this movie either. But I’m sure it’s tremendous.
10 | Mad Mike
Like five or six years ago my roommates and I went through a HUGE Pimp My Ride phase… and no one is more iconic than Mad Mike. Not even Xzibit.
11 | Tommy Gun
A double finale! A “Rocky” reference AND a porn star reference! Those are two things every single male in my generation can relate to.