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written by Sam Greenspan

How would I do on the real money bets I made on real stupid Super Bowl props?

Last week, for the 15th year in a row, I bet real money on the 11 strangest Super Bowl prop bets I could find.

I’ve been on a bit of a slump for a few years now, so could I turn it around this year? Would I hit on any of my long shot bets to push my lifetime earnings back toward the positive? Here are the results…

1 | How long will it take Chris Stapleton to sing the U.S. national anthem?

I stuck with my policy to always bet the over (in this case, 125 seconds)… and in a bad omen for the rest of my bets, it let me down. Chris Stapleton’s official time was 2:01.99 — decisively under 125 seconds.

Result: Loss. Running tally: 0-1-0 (-$11)

2 | Will Tom Cruise parachute into the stadium and hand deliver the game ball to the referees?

This was a weird bet to offer and the odds were horrible for no (-15000). I bet it anyway, because I knew it wouldn’t happen. And it didn’t. So I won 7 cents.

Result: Win! Running tally: 1-1-0 (-$10.93)

3 | Drake curse: What team apparel will Drake be wearing on Super Bowl Sunday?

The bet here asked which team Drake would curse through his legendary fair weather support. I figured he would go with Kansas City since he bet them big in the AFC. And the answer is… we don’t know. Drake did not post any photos in either KC or Philadelphia apparel.

Though based on the result of the game, I assume he wore Eagles gear in private.

Result: Push. Running tally: 1-1-1 (-$10.93)

4 | First TV advertisement

Which random Super Bowl advertiser would have their commercial air first: Avocados From Mexico or Hellman’s? I went with Hellman’s because they had more celebrities in their commercials. And… I lost. This bet was a coin flip and I lost the damn coin flip.

Result: Loss. Running tally: 1-2-1 (-$21.93)

5 | What song will Rihanna perform first at halftime?

I liked my pick of Don’t Stop the Music at +500 (even though I picked it largely to do a bit about Pitch Perfect). I picked it from the list of 12 options.

And Rihanna didn’t go with any of them. She started with B* Better Have My Money — which actually turned out to be a gift. The bet pushed as a result.

Result: Push. Running tally: 1-2-2 (-$21.93)

6 | Rihanna exposes butt cheek on stage at any point of performance

I took “no” for many reasons, but the best of which was I was getting positive odds on “no.” Rihanna didn’t expose butt cheek — her full body suit made it so this bet wasn’t even close.

At +125, I won $13.75 on this one.

Result: Win! Running tally: 2-2-2 (-$8.18)

7 | How many TickTok [sic] videos will jacksonmahomes post during the Super Bowl?

The sportsbook didn’t even know how to spell TikTok (they went with “TickTok”) so I figured I could win this one. I bet Jackson Mahomes would post under 1.5 TikTok videos during the Super Bowl (at -190).

And I got that right. He posted zero. I won $5.79 for my foresight.

Result: Win! Running tally: 3-2-2 (-$2.39)

8 | What will happen to the price of Bitcoin during the Super Bowl?

I didn’t have any particular insight into what Bitcoin would do during the Super Bowl (who could?) but I bet it would go down because the payout was better. Unfortunately for this bet (but good for crypto investors, I suppose), the price was up at the end of the game.

Result: Loss. Running tally: 3-3-2 (-$13.39)

9 | How many beers will be sold at State Farm Stadium?

The last time a stadium released their beer sales numbers was Mercedes-Benz Stadium in 2019, which sold 117,400 to 70,081 fans. Based on that ratio, I bet State Farm Stadium would sell over 120,000 beers to 72,200 fans.

Maybe they did. Maybe they didn’t. This is my third bet of the game that pushed because we didn’t get a verdict.

Result: Push. Running tally: 3-3-3 (-$13.39)

10 | If the Chiefs win, will Andy Reid be doused in BBQ sauce after the game?

This was another bet with an obvious outcome but terrible odds. I bet no, regardless of Andy Reid’s love of barbecue sauce, no one would pour it on him after the game. The odds were -15000 so when no sauce appeared, I won seven more cents.

Result: Win! Running tally: 4-3-3 (-$13.32)

11 | Will any player propose to his girlfriend on the field after the game?

For some reason I bet yes, even though the clear answer was no. The verdict was no, so I lost a quick $11. Even re-reading my bets from last week I’m surprised at my past self for such a bad call.

Result: Loss. Running tally: 4-4-3 (-$24.32)

Well… it could’ve been worse. It was an improvement over last year’s 4-7-0, although all the pushes helped.

This drives my career record to 75-79-11 and my career losses to -$234.28.

Here’s to next year!