The unique and extremely popular [citation needed] authority on pop culture since 2008

last updated on

written by Sam Greenspan

Last week I found the weirdest bets being offered for the Super Bowl. Here’s how I did on them.

Last week I wrote about the 11 weirdest Super Bowl XLIII prop bets. And for each of the strange bets, I offered my opinion.

Well… one thing about the modern era of shouting journalism is that every idiot makes bold predictions but no one ever gets held accountable for them. So I’m going to hold myself to a higher standard, and actually follow up on how my predictions on these prop bets played out.

1 | How long will it take Jennifer Hudson to sing the National Anthem?

It was -155 for over two minutes, one second, +115 for under. I recommended the over here… and I was correct. She clocked in at two minutes and 13 seconds.

2 | Which Super Bowl commercial will have the highest rating on USA Today’s Ad Meter?

I went with Anheuser-Busch here… even though they had 10/11 odds, they’ve won for 10 years in a row — and how can you argue with that dynasty?

But I was wrong. Doritos (which had 3/1 odds) ended the era, winning the ad meter with the commercial where the guys threw a crystal ball at stuff. That ad just barely beat out the Budweiser “Clydesdale rescues love from the circus” ad.

I don’t really remember either ad. We had a big party that was too rowdy to quiet down during commercials. We’re not drones!

3 | How many food items will John Madden mention during the game?

The over-under was 1.5, and I said you should go over. But again, I was having too much fun at our party to hang on Madden’s every word. So I’m not sure if I was right or wrong. Hopefully someone can fill me in.

4 | Which NBC show will get the most promos during the game?

I said go with The Office… but I believe I was wrong. Seemed like Chuck got the most promotion because of this 3-D episode they’re showing tomorrow. Heroes and Medium also seemed to get a lot of love.

5 | What color Gatorade will be dumped on the head coach of the winning team?

I very carefully analyzed the choices and backed yellow at 3/1. And when the Steelers won, Tomlin was doused in… yellow Gatorade. I was correct, and this was quite possibly one of my best predictions of the entire list.

6 | How many times will NBC show Brenda Warner on TV during the game?

I said bet the over on Kurt Warner’s now-attractive wife being shown more than 2.5 times. And I was correct. I saw her at least four times, albeit a few of them on quick, but intentional, cutaways.

7 | What is the jersey number of the player to score the first touchdown?

I broke this down very carefully and decided that there were way more players with jersey numbers under 38.5 who I liked to score. So I backed the under.

And I was correct. Gary Russell, #33 on the Steelers, ran it in for the first touchdown.

8 | Bruce Springsteen’s halftime set list

My instinct was that none of the four-song set lists presented by the sports books were what he’d do. And I was correct. Bruce ended up going with Tenth Avenue Freezeout, Born to Run, Working on a Dream and Glory Days.

I probably should’ve recognized that Working on a Dream would be in there, since Bruce was clearly doing this just to promote his new album (with that as the title track). I am happy that I successfully predicted Glory Days HAD to be there because it just felt like a Super Bowl song to me.

9 | The player most likely to get arrested leading up to or after the Super Bowl

No player ended up getting arrested… and BetUs’s favorite, Santonio Holmes, even won Super Bowl MVP. But, because I HAD to pick one, I went with Matt Leinart… and I was wrong.

10 | Willie Parker rushing attempts or Allen Iverson points?

I NAILED this one. Willie Parker had 19 carries. Allen Iverson had 22 points. I’ve watched Iverson shred the Cavs for the past decade, and I’ve seen NFL teams increasingly shift to running back by committee over the past few years… so this was a no-brainer for me. And I was correct, big time.

11 | Who will the Super Bowl MVP thank first?

I didn’t see Santonio Holmes’s speech, so I’m not sure about this one either. Little help?

Overall, I think I did a pretty solid job. In fact, I think I might have a future in applying logic to absurd bets. Seems like a pretty safe career move.