11 Over-the-Top Politically Correct Items For Sale

When brands either intentionally or accidentally try a bit too hard not to offend.

Politically correctness has been super hot for the past five or six years. Like the Earth. Thanks to climate change, f/k/a global warming. And as the entire last season of South Park pointed out, the political correctness is intertwined with brands figuring out new ways to get into your brain. (At least I think that’s what the season was about. It took a few detours in there.)

Today, it’s time to celebrate brands that went over-the-top in political correctness. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes by accident, sometimes through vast misunderstandings of where the line should be drawn.

Here are 11 photos of items that failed wildly in their efforts to become politically correct.

1 | Don We Now Our FUN Apparel!

Hallmark sold this ornament last year until it was flooded with oh so many complaints. Not that anyone really cared, I think, more just complaining for the sake of complaining.

2 | Alfa Powder Detergent: Caucasian

I think I’d be more worried about people being offended by “energy balls.”

3 | Crayola’s Multicultural Crayons

For several decades, Crayola had a crayon color called “Flesh.” Then they realized maybe, just maybe, that was a bad call, so they changed the name to “Peach.” They also had a color for many years called “Indian Red.” The multicultural crayon pack is, seemingly, part of their endless overcompensation for those past transgressions. Although I’m not entirely sure that the crayons bookending the above set are really accurate skin tones. What are those colors called? “Racist Wearing Blackface” and “Hardcore Albino”?

4 | Fingertrap of No Particular Origin

They certainly look flammable enough to lead to a chaotic fire drill of no particular origin.

5 | Drinking Bird

A gender neutral bird to fill in for you at work if you want to throw on your (also gender neutral) mumu and go take in a movie.

6 | Organic Genderless Gingerbread Figures

The “vegan” tag at the end really just drives the entire bit home, right?

7 | Happy Everything!

Seeing as the company is Fast Signs, I’m assuming they whipped up the “Happy Everything!” sign themselves. And if it was a plot to go viral, well played, because I just bit hard.

8 | Gender Neutral Marshmallow Snow Being

So… no moving the carrot from the nose to a spot about two feet lower?

9 | LGBT Sandwich

Possibly an abbreviation for what’s in the sandwich, although I’m not sure what the “G” stands for based on the picture. It doesn’t seem like a classy enough place for gruyere and the spread doesn’t look like goat cheese. It’s not something weird, like gravy or garlic. So I’m either going with “good mayonnaise” or saying LGBT has nothing to do with the ingredients.

10 | Religion-Free DVD

I do appreciate an agnostic antiquated medium.

11 | Gluten Free Haircuts

Assuming the standard gluten free model, the haircuts cost 20 percent more and leave you wildly unsatisfied. But at least they’re trendy.

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