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written by Sam Greenspan

What dream jobs are people still striving and hoping for?

When I was a kid, I had various dream jobs (puppeteer, teacher and video game designer all come to mind). I’m not doing any of those.

A new survey found only six percent of adults say they have their dream job. But… only 11 percent have given up (at an average age of 50). That means the other 83 percent of us starry-eyed dickheads are still clinging to the hope and promise of the future. Glad I’m not in it alone. Someone find me a puppet.

So what dream jobs are we still trying to get? Here are the 11 dream jobs that *adults* want to have when they grow up, according to the survey.

1 | Writer

There are no barriers of entry to being a writer anymore, just the adventure of trying to stand out in an endless sea of written words to actually make money as a writer. Seems like it’s better as a dream hobby.

2 | Doctor

Basically the opposite of writer. It has ALL the barriers of entry. You’ll have to go back to school for up to 20 years. So you should probably start studying.

3 | Scientist

Quite vague, so that’s good. You can become a mad scientist with little more than a chemistry set, pair of pliers and like 51 clocks on the wall.

4 | Chef/baker

I’m intimidated at even heating things up in the microwave, so bravo to anyone who wants to attempt this. (Bravo is a pun there, since Top Chef is on Bravo. The best jokes are the ones you have to explain. Still dreaming of becoming a writer?)

5 | Zookeeper

Thanks a lot for putting this hope in everyone’s head, Kevin James.

6 | Photographer

I’m pretty sure the average person already does think of themselves as a photographer, thanks to Instagram and its ilk. Getting paid for it is exponentially tougher.

7 | Explorer/adventurer

I just read that humans have only explored five percent of the world’s oceans. So maybe start there? James Cameron can give you some tips.

8 | Pilot

Does this career still have cachet in the modern “air travel is hell” world? Plus now that pilots really aren’t supposed to get drunk before flights, I feel like it has lost some luster.

9 | Teacher

I think it’s been long enough since Dead Poets Society that it’s safe to encourage people to become teachers again; no fear that all of their lessons will just be a string of John Wayne and Colonel Klink impressions.

10 | Actor

Hard pass.

11 | Singer/musician

It’s amazing that people still want to be singers. If you’re even a decent singer, there are infinite reality shows looking for you. Just keep auditioning for them until one casts you. The law of large numbers makes it damn near inevitable.