Kids accidentally — or intentionally — just obliterating photos.
It’s been a bit since I did a list of photos ruined by stuff going on in the background. So today, it’s 11 photos ruined by kids doing inappropriate things in the background. Or, in some cases, foreground.
1 | Another use for his bottle
Man I hope that this photo was taken in Japan where this mom could run that bottle through one of their super-advanced dishwashers that not only disinfects but gives you movie showtimes and grants you three wishes.
2 | Bad use of a balloon animal
This is why, if your kid wants a sword instead of a traditional balloon animal like a dog or the letter “O”, you should probably veto it.
3 | Back to the Future Part III kid
This is actually a screen grab from Back to the Future Part III. At the very end, when Doc introduces Marty to his kids, the kid playing “Verne” starts making a hand gesture like he’s asking someone to come over, then he starts pointing at his private area. The prevailing theory is that he really had to pee and didn’t think he could make it through Christopher Lloyd’s big flowery speech. Check it out yourself and decide.
4 | This must be a daily occurrence at Chuck E Cheese
To quote Adam Sandler (and, amazingly, NOT a line from Billy Madison but rather Wedding Singer) — somebody put some pants on that kid. And, on a personal note, I really hope they disinfected the ball pit once he left.
5 | That’s one interpretation of the “OK, everyone do something wacky!” photographer directive
And the kid next to him making the pig nose must be happy this guy really took all the heat off of him.
6 | Checking to make sure everything’s still in place
What’s really crazy is that this must’ve been the BEST take for the family, the one they actually bought from Sears and put up in their living room. What could the kid have done in the other takes that was worse? Turned around and motorboated his mom? Grabbed his brother’s pants? Had his eyes close and neglected to say “Cheese”?
7 | They start ’em young in Toronto
When I’m at a hockey game, I’m generally making this gesture at the person who talked me into going to a hockey game.
8 | Is he coughing?
My favorite part here is that the older guy in the photo TRIED to be funny in the background… but got completely trumped by the kid accidentally (?) making a fellatio gesture.
9 | Crawling the red carpet
There’s no way this kid leaves this experience without being traumatized. You have to work your way up to being able to stare down female genitalia without wanting to Men in Black memory ray yourself afterward. There’s no way this kid is mentally prepared — you’re not officially prepared until you enter the phase of your life where you’re so hormonal and horny that there’s no sight in the world that can deter you from your sexual to-do list.
10 | Scotchtoberfest
I take back what I said about the previous photo. THIS is more traumatic.
11 | A vacation photo to cherish
He’s got such a future ahead of himself as a pervert. This is definitely the kid who leads the initiative to drill a hole to see into the girls’ locker room. Which, if I’m to understand today’s schools’ zero tolerance policies correctly, would be punishable by expulsion not because he’d be violating hundreds of underage girls’ privacy, but because the drill is pointy.