Sexual acronyms like BBW, DTF and MILF ain’t what they used to be.
I’m a huge fan of acronyms. (Obviously. You can tell by looking at me. Or talking to me for two minutes.) I’m also a huge fan of accidental, hidden dirty meanings. (Check out the many, many lists of that genre in this site’s archive.) So I’m actually surprised it took me this long to think of this list idea.
11 Sexual Acronyms With Originally Decent Meanings
Imagine going to a drug store and some hunky guy confuses you for an employee. Before you know it, he’s asking where to find MSM, claiming it’s for his grandpa.
If you only knew the sexual meaning of that acronym and not the drug itself, you might just get a knuckled sandwich.
So let’s explore 11 sexual acronyms and their surprisingly decent origins. These acronyms might sound scandalous and racy, but their actual meanings are not as explicit as you might think.
1 | BBW
Old meaning: Stock symbol for Build-A-Bear Workshop
New meaning: Big beautiful woman
I have to tell ya, making that image above involved one of the most brutal Google image searches I’ve ever done. It got so bad that I actually turned their “Safe Search” option back on. What can I say? I just don’t have the stomach to look at half-filled teddy bears.
So next time you’re at a party, try not to ramble about your favorite teddy bear outfits after they introduce you to a BBW.
2 | ATM
Old meaning: Automated teller machine
New meaning: Ass to mouth
You know how people always say “ATM machine”? At least with the newer meaning, they don’t say “ATM mouth.” Cleaning up improper use of the English language, one deviant sexual act at a time.
3 | DSL
Old meaning: Digital subscriber line
New meaning: D*ck sucking lips
I wonder if the second kind of DSLs are also going to make totally obsolete by FIOS. (Fuller Injections, Optimum Suction? Frequent Implants, Oral Sex? Face Is Obviously Silicone?)
4 | UTI
Old meaning: Universal Technical Institute
New meaning: Urinary tract infection
When I’m watching late late night TV, UTI is always showing their commercials. They kind of make me want to learn how to become a boat mechanic. But more so, they make me want to drink a glass of cranberry juice.
5 | GFE
Old meaning: Good faith estimate
New meaning: Girlfriend experience
The first one is a document that shows you the hidden costs and fees associated with a loan. The second one is a sexual acronym used to describe a prostitute, or someone who spends the whole night going out on the town with you (and then performs more traditional prostitution duties).
Well, in both cases, it involves a level of trust and negotiation of agreed-upon terms beforehand. And, at the end of the day, you know you’re getting screwed in one way or another. (Rim shot!)
6 | DP
Old meaning: Director of photography
New meaning: Double penetration
I actually know a guy from college who works in the porn business now. He was the DP on a DP scene. That’s totally a line for the Christmas letter, huh?
Being a Director of Photography in the porn industry is a whole different ball game than working in mainstream film. The next time you hear someone bragging about their job as a DP, you might want to clarify which kind they’re referring to.
7 | MILF
Old meaning: Moro Islamic Liberation Front
New meaning: Mother I’d like to f***
This one made the headlines in the Philippines and, eventually, all over the world when the news came out that cops nabbed MILF Commander in the southern part of the country.
My first reaction was, “I didn’t know that MILFs had a ranking hierarchy,” because this wasn’t mentioned in porn videos. It turns out that the term has another meaning.
The former is a rebel paramilitary group in the Philippines. The latter is a term that’s part of the rich cornucopia of the West’s crumbling morality. One’s the hunter, one’s the hunted.
8 | NSA
Old meaning: National Security Agency
New meaning: No strings attached
People on Craigslist, Adult Friend Finder and sites of that ilk like to specify they’re looking for NSA relationships — no strings attached. It’s just sex – only physical pleasure without the commitment or responsibilities of a traditional relationship. This means there’s no getting all possessive afterward — no spying, no wiretapping, no hacking into e-mail.
9 | DTF
Old meaning: Digital Tape Format
New meaning: Down to f***
The first one is a type of magnetic tape data storage technology used for digital audio and video recording and the second one is someone willing and ready to engage in sexual activity, without the need for further discussion or convincing.
I didn’t include the digital tape format on last week’s list about Sony’s failures and successes because it didn’t really hit my radar. It did for this list, though. I also felt like DAT, SDSS and CLIE all have potential to one day be on this list.
10 | PDA
Old meaning: Personal Digital Assistant
New meaning: Public display of affection
I intentionally chose a photo of the sexy PDA that predates the (now outdated) PDA. If you introduce either kind of PDA when you’re out among people, you’re going to get some strange looks. (I definitely find myself more grossed out when I see someone whip out a Trio or a Palm Pilot with a stylus than I am to see a couple of people kissing and groping each other out in the open.)
11 | MSM
Old meaning: Methylsulfonylmethane
New meaning: Men who have sex with men
Methylsulfonylmethane (or MSM) is a type of sulfur. The mainstream media (or MSM) has promoted its benefits, so some people take it as a supplement. Doctors, however, at places like the Morehouse School of Medicine (or MSM) dispute that it actually has any legitimate impact on your health.
However, some clinical trials have shown that it’s good for knee and joint pain, which you’ll want to clear up before you dance to Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine (or MSM). You know what segment of the population loves Gloria Estefan? Ta-da.