The unique and extremely popular [citation needed] authority on pop culture since 2008

last updated on

written by Sam Greenspan

The people who started these businesses may’ve missed the innuendo, but the Internet hasn’t.

Once upon a time, I did a list on businesses whose names were intentionally dirty puns. Well, I think most of them were intentional. Also looking back, I feel like a couple of them were fake. It was 2009. I was far less discerning or experienced at sifting out the Photoshops.

But what’s better than a business name intentionally filled with innuendo? One that got there accidentally.

Here are 11 real businesses from around the world that chose names without, it seems, realizing the filthy minds of the Internet might deduce a secondary interpretation.

1 | The Chocolate Log

I’m all about euphemisms for feces right now. It comes with the territory of having a baby. I find myself in a surprising number of situations where people are curious about the size, shape, color and quantity of his fecal production. I may’ve even used the phrase “chocolate log” at some point.

2 | Fourskin

I’m not sure how this name made it past committee. It should’ve struck out there. (And from the backwards k, I guess it struck out looking?)

3 | The Glory Hole Church Centre

On the plus side, what a great, unintentional way of getting perverts to flock on in. Once they get over their terrible initial disappointment, maybe they’ll be ripe for some Jesus talk?

4 | Hand Job Nails and Spa

I’m far more put off by their use of the font Papyrus than the name. It’s like the slightly exotic equivalent of Comic Sans.

5 | Laiba Jewelers

Really catering to a very, very niche subset of piercings, huh?

6 | Moist Realtors

Haven’t they heard that the world has blacklisted the word “moist”? You can’t even use it sell a cake mix anymore, let alone a house.

7 | Tastes Like Grandma

They couldn’t have just gone “Tastes Like Grandma‘s” instead? I mean, this label looks like it was straight off an inkjet, it’s not like they accidentally sent the wrong template to the printer for a million labels.

8 | Two Ladies and a Bucket

The concept of two females and one receptacle has been, and will always remain, unequivocally ruined.

9 | Vaj’s Garage: Restaurant and Filling Station

Just can’t have a filling station called Vaj’s in this world. And arguably not a restaurant either.

10 | The Golden Shower

Man, how pissed off were the owners when they found out the other meaning for that term. Get it? Pissed off? Ooh, I’m getting close to being booed off the stage now…

11 | Ram in the Bush Christian Center

And now that bush is burning, baby. I’ll see myself out.