These beers with the lowest calorie count have a unique and unparalleled balance between alcohol and calories.
This is what happens when Excel nerds apply their college degrees to something practical in the real world. We’re talking about the best beers to get drunk while keeping the calories at bay.
I went to Northwestern University. It’s a nerd school for sure, but it tends to draw a large number of people who don’t let their nerd side completely dominate their personality. As a result, you get thousands of smart kids who love to get hammered, and use their brains to further that initiative.
As a side note, I know that paragraph is probably Northwestern’s nightmare, but, honestly, putting that in the brochure would recruit a hell of a lot more people than putting a bunch of staged multicultural photos of people reading and laughing on the one patch of grass on campus where they haven’t slapped up a new dorm.
Healthy booze inspiration
My friend Adam (which isn’t all that specific, since I had no fewer than 30 friends named Adam at Northwestern) and I were having a drinking dilemma, and he decided to put his Excel data modeling skills on it.
As we all enter our 30s, we can’t bombard our bodies with alcohol anymore and never see any adverse physical effects. We already tried the manliest drinks, and it’s time to hand over the baton to the next generation.
But we still would like to drink. And drink beer. So we endeavored to find out which lager gave us the best bang for our nutritional buck.
We analyzed more than 200 beers, which was easier than it sounds once we found a chart to cut and paste the calorie, carb and alcohol percentage breakdowns.
Nerdy stats to finding the best low calorie beers
Ultimately, we decided the best measure of beers would be calories per ounce of alcohol. In other words, which lager had the best mix of low calories and high percentage of alcohol.
To get this, we divide the number of calories by the percentage of alcohol by volume, and then divide that result by 12 ounces, which is the standard volume of a can or bottle of beer. The result is the number of calories per ounce of alcohol, which indicates that the lower the figure, the better the beer for drinking without quickly getting fat.
We decided not to take carbs into account since, with these ales, the difference in grams of carbs is much, much smaller than the differences in calories and alcohol percentage. So these rankings are based on calories consumed per ounce of alcohol.
Best low calorie beers to get drunk without getting fat
If any of that comes off as confusing, it should all make sense once the list starts, and you see the hard and fast numbers. As a preemptive note, we are NOT taking taste into account here. Because when you’re mostly drinking these out of a cup you’re about to flip, who really takes taste into account?
1 | Bud Light Next
(80 cal, 4% alcohol, 166.7 cal/ alcohol oz, 0 carbs)
Spoilers alert! It’s not for the brave-hearted.
Bud Light Next, as its name suggests, will make you order the next brand of beer available.
This ale almost tastes like seltzer or water, with a very light smell. If you’re already drunk, you may not tell the difference.
You may be disappointed with the taste and mouthfeel if you’re used to your regular drinks. Everything that you love about beers isn’t found on this one, except the zero carbs and very low calorie-to-alcohol content.
But we’re on a lifestyle change here, so either adapt, get drunk and not get fat, or pump more calories to bloat your beer guts.
2 | Sleeman Clear 2.0
(80 cal, 4% alcohol, 166.67 cal/ alcohol oz, 2 carbs)
I like to call a group of men who are fond of drinking Sleeman Clear 2.0 as Sleeman Brothers.
This beer is in direct competition with Bud Light Next. Both share the same calories and alcohol contents, which are ridiculously low. The only determining factor why this ale landed on the second spot are their carbs, to which Sleeman has two, while Bud Next has zero.
Let’s not talk about their taste ‘coz it is also like carbonated water.
3 | Natural Ice
(130 cal, 5.9% alcohol, 183.6 cal/alcohol oz)
After we finished this breakdown, we started drinking Natty Ice. And while I didn’t love it at first, it’s growing on me. The spirit probably starts working its magic.
Natural Ice may have a high calorie content, but the alcohol by volume compensates for that level. Some people find the flavor awful and rightly so because this lager is certainly not for the young and faint-hearted, or the pre 30-year-olds. But we know that the benefits are beyond the tastes buds.
It’s doing the job. And it’s doing it far, far better than any other beer on this list. The calorie-to-alcohol ratio is spectacular to the point of almost being “unnatural.”
4 | King Cobra
(133 cal, 6% alcohol, 184.7 cal/alcohol oz)
Closing in on Natty Ice is King Cobra, not the snake, but the full-bodied American malt liquor beer.
Don’t be intimidated by its name, or even the calories it has. It packs a 6% alcohol content, slightly higher than Natty Ice, but provokes a smooth, rich taste.
The caramel-malt flavor brings back good old memories when I was still a restless beer man. That being said, those mornings weren’t very regretful after having King Cobra the night before.
5 | Corona Premier
90 cal, 4% alcohol, 187.5 cal/ alcohol oz)
I really like Corona Premier.
To make my soda analogy of this list, it’s the Diet Dr. Pepper of light beers. It tastes the most like the original. I prefer to take it as it is, but you can opt to add lime.
It’s definitely the best choice when you’re at a Mexican restaurant. And it’s one of those beers people drink to try to look cool.
6 | Michelob Ultra
(95 cal, 4.2% alcohol, 188.49 cal/ alcohol oz, 2.6 carbs)
From the 8th spot a few years ago, it’s interesting how this lager jumped two spots in the ranking just by adding 0.1% of alcohol. Moreover, I’m shocked at how many calories are in one of these things. Yes, it’s low-carb at 2.6 grams of carbs per bottle… but it’s really not that great.
And there’s SUCH a stigma attached to drinking this. Just try it out: Buy a six-pack of Michelob Ultra bottles and walk into a party. People will either ask you if you’re on a diet or ask you how your, vagina’s doing… but never ask if they can have one.
7 | Natural Light
(95 cal, 4.2% alcohol, 188.49 cal/ alcohol oz, 3.2 carbs)
Like Sleeman 2.0 and Bud Light Next, Natural Light has the exact same calories-per-ounce of alcohol breakdown as Michelob Ultra. Breaking the tie with their carbs gives us 3.2 for Natty Light and 2.6 for Michelob’s.
Interestingly, one of the first lists I ever wrote for this site was the 11 Best Crappy Domestic Beers. Eight years later, it’s still one of the worst-tasting beer in America.
When writing about Natty Light, my thesis was: “You can tell it’s made with cheaper ingredients than any of these other beers… and that’s saying something.”
But who knew, when you were drinking Bud Light’s trashier cousin, it was actually one of the more crafty ways to get drunk on a diet?
8 | Natty Daddy
(181 cal, 8% alcohol, 188.54 cal/ alcohol oz)
This is the first one in this article that’s got big calories and big alcohol, making it more efficient than any of the others. It’s also the third “Natural Beer” in the list. If Natural Light makes eight more variations of these, they could fill this whole article.
Anyway, I have basically stayed away from the “ice” genre of beers in my drinking life, not for any particular reason other than that ice lagers conjure up an image in my mind of burly alcoholics in North Dakota or Minnesota.
But I’ll probably make an exception for Natty Daddy so long as I enjoy getting drunk with the least calories.
9 | Hurricane Malt Liquor Original
(136 cal, 6% alcohol, 188.9 cal/ alcohol oz)
Why do I get the feeling that the best beers to drink without getting fat are some of the most awful?
This category 5 hurricane beer whatever is supposed to bring an equally bold experience (it’s in their can), but for many, it brings an equally bold disappointment.
Perhaps, its low calorie-to-alcohol ratio may compensate for that.
10 | Miller 64
(64 cal, 2.8% alcohol, 190.5 cal/ alcohol oz)
Miller 64 has actually the lowest calorie beer in the list, but its low alcohol content drags it down to the tenth place. Also, it is truly, truly flavorless, almost like a carbonated water.
This is not the beer to sit down and really savor, nor to try to pair with food, unless you’re pairing it with an equally tasteless food, like rice cakes, or Domino’s Pizza.
But wait! So this lager may get us drunk with fewer calories, but the food that we pair it with, will.
11 | Bud Light Platinum
(139 cal, 6% alcohol, 193 cal/ alcohol oz)
Bug Light seems to be at the opposite ends of the spectrum, with Bud Light Next to the first spot and Platinum last.
It’s a little malty sweet but easy to drink, and you can easily dismiss the watery feel like that of Bud Light Next especially when consumed chilled. Doesn’t also leave a bad taste after drinking.
So, if I ever feel that the previous beers aren’t making me drunk as I should, this will be my go-to lager without the heavy calories.
Wrapping up with other low calorie beers
To wrap this up with a few other popular beers and their calorie-to-alcohol ratio:
- Coors Light has 202.4
- Amstel Light 226.2
- Stella Artois 245.2
- Bud Light 218.3
- Busch Light 193.1
- Colt 45 235
- Bud Heavy 242
- Heineken 235.7
- Coors 245
- PBR 224.7
- Red Stripe 267.7
- Hefeweizen 245.3
- Guinness 248, and in dead last place,
- O’Doul’s.
Because O’Doul’s at 66 calories and 0.4% alcohol, it has 1,375 calories per ounce of alcohol. And that’s simply never going to get it done.
Note:
A reader named Ryan pointed me to a website called GetDrunkNotFat, which seems to, pretty much, have done this exact same thing.
However, their rankings seem to be pretty off than ours, and their top one is actually on number three in our article. And this throws off the whole balance of the list.
The crazy thing is, we initially Googled this before we started working on it and didn’t find them. Once that site was pointed out, we dug a little further and came up with this list. But you can check them out to see how mixed drinks factor into this equation.